Leaving so soon? Its hard to imagine her gone. Shes 18 almost 19 and heading out into the world to experience real life. I wonder if I have done everything right? Did I teach her the things that will make her a great person, friend, coworker and citizen? One side of me is so excited for her, the other side cries inside as if its a loss. I have only 2 months to finish any thoughts I might have, or to start conversations that need to be said. Will she need me any more? Shes my friend, my best friend. She has no idea how hard this is for me, as I am sure it is for her.
I know it will pass, and it all will be something to look back upon. But I dread the day I leave her at the College Dorms, no one to know, only experiences that will last a lifetime. I know its a good thing, but she is and always will be my baby. I cry now at the very thought. I know shes not going far, I know I will see her, but why does it seem so hard? I can only hope and pray that she will live a full life of love, and be all she can be. I am so proud of her.
I know for now I am getting closer to feeling the "empty nest" thing. But I know, one day, there will be grandchildren and phone calls asking to watch the kids, and I will be willing with open arms. I know, that as the house clears itself of noises and footsteps, that it also opens a door for myself and my husband to have a closer time together. Maybe "we" can experience things together again? Its a hard positions to be in. Happiness and Sadness all swarming together in the same place.... my heart.
Its the Circle of Life. Its going to happen. I just need to experience my life journey like so many others had to do, and knowing one day she will too.
Does she know how much she means to me? As she grows and matures in her new world, so shall I.
